Night Terrors
by bbybear85
Summary: Relena is plagued with nightmares of a traumatic event, as she begins a journey to recovery.  *Warning:  Rape, Prolife connotations without political intent.*
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing**

The former soldier stood, as a statue, hidden away in the shadows of an empty hangar. His Pussian blue eyes studied his friends as they trickling in, most late for the meeting he'd called. The sound of their whispers tickled his ears.

"Heero hasn't shown, yet?" The man with the long, chocolate braid down his back fidgeted nervously as he approached the Chinese pilot.

"No."

"Sheesh. This should be the most awkward meeting we've ever had! Don't you think?"

The Chinese man looked into his companion's violet eyes inquisitively for a moment, and then resumed his mask of indifference. The answer would come. Duo was never one to withhold gossip.

"You know? With Relena and Quatre?"

"You shouldn't believe everything you hear," another voice answered as a taller man with green eyes approached, his dirty blond bangs covering half of his face.

"Trowa." Wufei nodded. His own raven hair was pulled tightly into a small tail at the back of his head, as his dark eyes scanned the shadows, settling on the stalking angel of darkness.

Duo looked around. "I want to agree, Trowa, but he's been staying there for five months! Granted, sometimes business brings him through, but _that_—that's called 'moving in'."

Trowa rolled his eyes, looking away.

Wufei's gaze did not budge once he met Heero's eyes. He remained solid, himself, trying to read the Japanese man's expression as Duo gabbed on about what had always seemed to be their leader's love interest.

"Sorry I'm late," Quatre called out as he ran into the hangar. "I hope I'm not the last one here?" He looked at the three men in the light, laughing nervously, as he raked his hand through his platinum blond hair. His light blue eyes also scanned the shadows, not immediately seeing the dark anomaly.

"Nah," Duo answered prematurely. "Heero's—"

"Been here the whole time." The dark, earthy voice sent a chill through Duo's whole being. Heero's eyes were locked on the loud mouthed target as he emerged from his hidden perch. "_If_ you're done discussing other people's lives, we can go on with this meeting, and make sure that they all live to make those personal choices—as we've promised."

Now all of the pilots were looking at Heero, except for Duo, who stared at the ground in a cold sweat.

"Yeah," he mumbled, praying for a change in subject.

"The Vice Foreign Minister has a conference to attend on L3 in one week's time. As you all know, this is the most unstable colony cluster. Her presence is imperative. As is the strength of her security detail."

Wufei shook his head. "No offense to Relena, but the Vice Foreign Minister may very well cancel the trip. Sally has sited unspecified health reasons for the last four cancellations to space. The fact is that she hasn't been up for travel, and I doubt that will change this week."

"Why has Sally not specified her health reasons?" Duo asked.

"Doctor-Patient confidentiality," Wufei answered lamely.

"Since when?" Duo flailed his arms in exasperation.

Trowa's head shot up. "She has the right to her privacy, just like anyone else," he rebutted.

"Her _presence_ is imperative," Heero repeated. He turned his attention to Quatre. "See that she is there."

Quatre's mouth dropped open. "You know as well as I do that you can't _make_ Relena do _anything_. If she's not ready to travel, she won't budge." His voice remained low, and humble, but passionate.

Heero looked away, unmoved. "The colonies are unstable. The Earth is counting on her to maintain the peace. No one can reassure the people like she can. She _will_ go, whether she _feels_ like it, or not."

"NO, Heero!" Quatre's voice nearly cracked as he snapped at his unofficial leader.

The angry, dark blue eyes turned on him, meeting the direct challenge.

"If Relena says no, then the answer is no. I will _not _try to force her to do something at a time like this."

Heero stepped forward, looming over his target.

Quatre met his glare, and held his ground.

Trowa stepped forward, gently brushing Quatre behind him to diffuse the argument. "We still don't know how Relena will be feeling," he said, looking down at Heero. "Let's move on with this meeting and we'll cover our plans at Relena's house on Wednesday. If she refuses to go at that point, we can reevaluate our situation, and _Heero_ can speak to her directly."

"Very well," Heero conceded. "Duo and Trowa, you will go back to Preventer's headquarters with Wufei. Lady Une and I will meet you there with further parameters and details. Quatre, I will present you with your mission and equipment on Wednesday, quarter 'til midnight. I _trust_ you'll be available?" An unfamiliar sarcasm laced his voice when he addressed the blond representative of L4. "Wufei, arrange for Sally to accompany you to the Darlian home, as well. Zechs is also getting restless. The world can't wait for Relena to _feel_ better. We need answers."

Wufei shot him a challenging look, but nodded.

Heero gave one, last icy glare to Quatre before turning on his heel to leave.

Duo blew out the breath he appeared to have been holding the whole meeting, once Heero had faded from sight.

"That went well," he announced, scratching the back of his head.

Quatre looked at him in silence, green with anxiety. His eyes dropped the ground. Now he had to face Relena.

:::

Quatre walked into the bedchamber, barely lit by the unwelcomed afternoon sun, sneaking through the cracks in the velvet curtains. The room felt stuffy as he made his way to the window, cracking it to encourage a circulation in air. Surely the soft scents of the European summer would help the occupant's mood.

"Quatre," a female voice gently made its way to his ears.

He closed his eyes, smiling sadly. "How are you feeling, Princess?"

The girl forced herself to smile, also, under her messy honey blond hair. Her soft, light blue eyes looked damaged next to the marring dark circles she'd developed. "I didn't sleep, at all, while you were away," she admitted.

He nodded, climbing into the bed, beside her, and pulling her into a soft hug. "You're needed on the L3 colony, next week."

"Quatre," she whispered in protest.

"I know," he answered, gently petting her head to calm her. They sat in silence for several minutes, as he comforted her.

The silence was broken by Quatre's labored sigh. "Heero's asking questions."

She shot him a look of dread. "You can't tell him—?"

He shook his head. His face was crippled with broken empathy. His eyes began to fill with tears. Tears for her pain. "I am here for you. Only you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing**

The clock struck twelve, midnight, Thursday. Zechs stood, looking out the window of Relena's library. Heero leaned against the door frame, glaring at the man in the center of the room. Quatre sat there on a chaise lounge, resting his chin on his folded hands, elbows on his knees, as he studied the design in the carpet.

"Are they always this late?" Zechs finally broke the awkward silence.

"They're always late. Yes," Heero answered. "Except Wufei. He's punctual, but I've asked him to bring Sally. It'll be a miracle if he gets here, at all."

"Why Sally?"

"Your sister seems to have developed a mysterious chronic medical condition, and I won't have it interfering with her duties, this week," he growled.

Zechs turned and looked at him, as if to ask for detail, but was interrupted by the entrance of Trowa and Duo in their Preventer uniforms.

"Hey, boys!" Duo waved obnoxiously as he entered. "You haven't killed each other yet? Good. I was starting to worry."

Heero and Quatre both shot him a warning glance, but averted their eyes, again, as to avoid seeing each other.

"How is she feeling, Quatre?" Trowa asked softly.

Heero finally glanced at him as he shook his head.

"Hn," Heero grunted, void of compassion. "The mission will go on. I will see to it, myself."

Quatre answered him with a silent look of insult, then dropped his eyes back to the floor.

Trowa also studied Heero with a look of distaste, sighing sadly.

Finally Wufei entered, quickly crossing the room to stand by Zechs. There was only the slightest shadow of fear in his eyes, but he had put his neck out for the leader's demands. He looked Heero in the eye, then looked back out the door to watch Sally slowly enter, holding her head high with pride. She stood two paces in front of Heero and turned to face him, crossing her arms rebelliously.

"I'm not telling—"

Sally was interrupted by the sound of screaming upstairs. Quatre jumped to his feet, looking knowingly at the exit, but he did not move as quickly as Heero.

"No! NO!" Relena's voice cried. "Heero! Please! PLEASE, NO! HEEEEEERO!"

Heero sprinted like a wild tiger, flying over the railing and up the stairs, before Relena's brother could push his way out of the library, followed by Trowa. Quatre was on Heero's heels, but not nearly as fast, as the four raced to her room.

The other men had started, but Sally held her hand out, commandingly, freezing both in their tracks. They could only wait.

Heero threw open the door, and there was the delicate flower, kicking and screaming in the darkness, pale with terror. He froze in shock, studying her behavior. She scratched at the imaginary hands on her throat, choking on nothing. Her feet flailed, trying to get free of the blankets. She kept reaching down, pushing violently away from her lower stomach, to free herself from the invisible perpetrator. A familiar brown teddy bear lay on the floor near the door, thrown from its nest in the violence. Heero moved slowly toward her now, drawn by morbid curiosity.

Quatre burst in behind him, violently gripping the slightly larger man and shoving him toward the door. "Get out!" He cried, defensively, before turning to face the frightened girl. "Relena?" He called to her in a soft voice. His hands were extended toward her, but he fought to keep from touching her. "Relena? Wake up. It's me. It's Quatre!"

Heero backed toward the door, taking shallow breaths. He was broken from his trance when his body ran into Relena's brother, who'd made his way to her room, as well. Trowa took up the back. He swallowed the air, fighting off the cold that was quickly overtaking his body. Without another word, he turned from the scene and stormed off.

Zechs stepped around Quatre and reached for his sister, but the young pilot stopped him.

He shook his head firmly. "Don't touch her." Quatre turned his attention back to the former princess. "Relena, sweetie. It's me. You're safe, now," he called. "Relena?"

Finally, she broke free of the nightmare, gasping for air. She pulled herself up, looking around, confused. Tears were rolling down her face, unchecked. She drew back from the men's shadows, at first, in panic. Slowly, she regained her senses and saw Trowa silhouetted at the door, her brother leaning over her, and Quatre at her feet, with a look of passionate concern on his face.

"Relena," he whispered.

_Trowa and Zechs? _Her face paled more. Quatre had mentioned a meeting. They must have heard her- "Oh, God," she said, rubbing her burning face with her cold hand. "Heero?"

Her eyes met Quatre's.

His gaze dropped away.

She felt she might be sick.

:::

Heero stumbled back into the library, his emotions showing on his sleeve as he searched the room frantically for something to stare at. His eyes wouldn't focus. He felt ill. He was so angry. He was trembling. Finally, he found Sally. When he locked on her, she stepped back, away from him, looking guiltily at the ground as tears filled her eyes.

"You—" he said huskily. "You knew?"

Her breath shook with her body as she moved away, putting as much space between them as was immediately possible. When she looked back, he was still searching her. He looked—broken. Her tears broke free, down her face as she ran into the window opposite him, squeezing her eyes shut as if to make his broken heart disappear.

Heero leaned against the door post, sliding to the floor, slumped over in defeat. The burden of his emotions was too much. He simply stared at his own feet through empty eyes.

Several more minutes passed before the other three made their way back down, one by one. The first two still looked bewildered and concerned, but Quatre came last, signaling an end to the immediate conflict. He stopped over Heero, as he entered, looking down at him with an expression that captured all of the sadness and compassion that was in the room. His heart was carrying an abyss of pain. Relena's pain. And now Heero's.

He made his way to back to his seat, and the seven adults sat in the oppressive silence, each afraid to break it.

"So _this_ is why she hasn't returned to outer space?" Heero rose to his feet, directing his accusatory questions at Quatre. "_This_ is why she's asked you to live with her?"

"For night terrors?" Trowa was still at a loss, having seen only the fear, and missed most of the detail.

Quatre said nothing.

After a moment of silence, Heero's eyes widened. "Why is _Sally_ involved?" He looked at her, now. She flinched at his voice, leaning closer to the window, with one trembling fist unconsciously raised near her body. "You're not a counselor!"

Silence.

A new chill ran down Heero's back as he made the connection both parties were silently begging him not to make. His eyes widened, turning back on Quatre. "She's—?" His breath shook with anger, fear and defeat. "She's _pregnant_?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing**

"She's _pregnant_?"

Everyone in the room looked at the ground. The sound of Sally's breath catching in terror, under her tears, was his only answer.

The seconds ticked by, as the reality set in on Relena's secrets.

"How? How could you not tell me about this?" Heero's voice was weak and raspy, at first. Taking a second breath, his question came again, like the roar of an angry lion. "HOW COULD YOU KEEP THIS FROM ME?" He grabbed Quatre's lapels, yanking him to eye level, his feet lifted off of the ground.

Trowa, who'd followed Zech to the back corner of the room, took a step forward to separate the two, but froze, looking to the doorway.

"Heero," a new voice called. It was broken from previous screaming. Broken from months of emotional turmoil. Broken with soft compassion for a protector who she'd made into a failure. "Put him down."

Heero let go, dropping the smaller Gundam pilot on the couch, as he looked away from the voice. He was still shaking from head to foot, and trying desperately to get a grip on his emotions. He was _angry_, more so than he had ever been, but losing control, again, would only hurt her more. He knew that.

Relena's long blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders. Her eyes, still marred by sleeplessness, were brightened by the sky blue of her satin robe. The belt sat atop a previously unnoticed swollen belly, illustrating to the men in the room how a simple accentuation on such a small frame can make the difference between hiding and exposing a pregnant abdomen.

"I'll go to L3," Relena said diplomatically.

Her words had their desired effect. Heero's eyes shot to her, laced with shock and concern.

Before he could speak, Sally answered the suggestion.

"No," she said sternly. "You have not been sleeping. I won't have you risking your health further by taking off into space!"

"But what of the unrest?" Wufei argued. "Nothing personal to the Vice Foreign Minister, but she is needed. This is a mission she, and she alone, can complete."

"I agree with Wufei," Relena nodded, looking back at her doctor. "I sleep when I feel safe. Heero will escort me. He will not leave my side the entire trip."

Heero was still staring at her, as his trembling body slowed. "No," he answered. "Sally's right. If you're not resting, you'll need your strength. It's better to rest, now, and quell the fires, later."

"Otherwise you kill the goose who lays the golden eggs," Duo added on, earning a short, bewildered look from Heero and Trowa.

Relena shook her head. "Between now and the end of my recovery, more innocent people will be caught up in the movement and put to death. I cannot allow my personal health to come before the needs of the people; before what we have all worked so hard to achieve. If they need to see me, they will see me. I've already given up too much for—this."

Another chill ran through the room as her decision sank in. She narrowed her eyes on Heero, who was now looking down and away from her. "If you will not accept the mission, I'm sure Quatre can see to it that I rest on my trip."

Heero shot a mysterious look down at Quatre. Something flashed behind his steely blue eyes. Relena unconsciously shifted, realizing she hit a button. "Mission accepted," he said flatly, returning his gaze to the floor.

In spite of the tension in the room, Duo couldn't fight the tug at the corner of his mouth, having seen a pang of jealousy cut through the Heero.

"Sally will accompany Heero and Relena," Zechs stated, looking out into the darkness. "Space is not a safe place for a pregnant woman. You should have your doctor immediately available."

Sally and Relena looked at each other and nodded in agreement.

"Quatre will continue as originally planned," Heero added on, returning to his commanding state. "He will arrive as a concerned representative from L4. Wufei will accompany as his bodyguard. Duo. You are to run surveillance of the whole affair. Since my roll has been moved to Relena's side, Zechs will work directly between you and the other operatives."

He looked back at Relena for a moment, sizing her up. She looked more fragile, now, than he had ever remembered, while still looking more cold, solid and prepared. She had nothing to lose.

"The situation on L3 is volatile. The Vice Foreign Minister's presence is necessary, but so is her survival. She will be a target. No harm—" He paused scanning over his trusted comrades, again. "_No_ harm is to come to her. Is that understood?" They all nodded in turn as he studied their responses.

Heero turned to leave the room, brushing past Relena at the door. "Wufei," he called back. "Arm Quatre." He continued his retreat from the gathering, sensing Relena following him in silenced. He stopped where the stairwell met the foyer, staring at the door as he decided whether to leave.

Soft, cold fingers danced across his elbow, barely touching him. His body responded with goose bumps, as he fought off the urge to shiver. He wouldn't say it aloud, but she felt like death.

"Stay," she whispered. "Please?"

Heero closed his eyes, fighting back another surge of emotion. Anger. Pain. Fear. Disappointment. He swallowed. "I didn't protect you."

She tugged, again, on his elbow. He turned his eyes to her, met with a sad smile. "It's not—"

She stopped when he looked away. "Don't," he interrupted her. "Just—don't."

She looked at the bottom of the door, contemplating what she could say, next. She was at a loss. How could she comfort him, now?

Suddenly, part of her screamed, deep inside. _Don't touch him!_ She pulled her hand away in response to the inner torment. A feeling came over her, washing up deep in her gut. She was nauseated. She needed to shower. She felt grimy. Without a thought, she began to scratch at the skin on her arm, as if to pull away layers of sweat and dirt. _Filth_.

Heero could hear the sound of her nails scratching nervously at her skin. Silent seconds ticked on with only the sound of her scraping her own flesh. It didn't stop. He turned his head to face her, but she was looking at the floor. Her eyes were glassy and sad. Her arm was pink under the motion of her fingers, and little red dots appeared where the capillaries broke before his eyes. She wasn't going to stop.

Heero's hand flew at her from seemingly nowhere, capturing her wrist. She looked at his grip on her, then down at her arm. It was almost bleeding. She still felt—disgusting.

He hid the damaged arm behind her body, fighting the insane thoughts in her mind she forced a smile as she looked at him. His eyes did not soften below his knit eyebrows. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I must've forgotten myself." She sighed. "I should—rest." She nodded at him, reassuringly, as she gently pried her wrist from his hand.

He stared at her, silently, dropping his offending hand to his side.

She smiled, again, and bowed slightly. "Goodnight, Heero," she said, before starting up the stairs.

Her thoughts raced in the silences as she trotted down the darkened hallway. Fear watched her from the shadows. She couldn't shake the anxious feeling, in spite of knowing the irrationality of it. Suddenly she felt the life within her move. She froze, placing her hand on her belly and closing her eyes, as she tried to make out which limbs were pushing out and across her, just above her navel. She sighed, happily for a moment, before remembering the truth of her situation.

She was alone in life. She had a child with no father. There was a man she loved, who was ashamed of himself for somehow failing her, and a sense that she, defiled by her own weakness and foolishness, could never, again, be worthy of his affections.

She was startled when a strong dark hand traced down her arm and rested over her own fingers, feeling the movement of her unborn child. "You would choose the baby," he whispered in a dark tone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Dislcaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing**

Her thoughts raced in the silences as she trotted down the darkened hallway. Fear watched her from the shadows. She couldn't shake the anxious feeling, in spite of knowing the irrationality of it. Suddenly she felt the life within her move. She froze, placing her hand on her belly and closing her eyes, as she tried to make out which limbs were pushing out and across her, just above her navel. She sighed, happily for a moment, before remembering the truth of her situation.

She was alone in life. She had a child with no father. There was a man she loved, who was ashamed of himself for somehow failing her, and a sense that she, defiled by her own weakness and foolishness, could never, again, be worthy of his affections.

She was startled when a strong dark hand traced down her arm and rested over her own fingers, feeling the movement of her unborn child. "You would choose the baby," Heero whispered in a dark tone. Not accusingly. Almost—admiration. "You're stubborn," he tacked on, for sincerity.

She sighed, looking up at him. "I couldn't make the call, so I waited. I knew I would run out of time, but I—I think I wanted to."

"Do you have a name?"

"No." She sighed. "I'm sure he'll tell me when he's ready." She moved her hands in small circles over where the lump had been.

A smiled tugged at his lips. "You need rest," he said.

Relena nodded and allowed him to escort her into her room. She looked at the disheveled bed for several seconds, before walking toward the bathroom. "I need a shower," she said, without turning back. She didn't want him to see the turmoil in her eyes. The irrationality of her pain.

"Hn," was the only response from a man she couldn't look at.

Relena locked the door, sinking to the tile floor beneath her. She felt sick at the thought of him touching her. Not because it was him, but because it was her. After what had happened. After what that man had done. After what she didn't stop. She could have tried harder. She could have stopped it, before it was too late. She hated herself for it. Why did she let this happen? Why allow Heero this burden? She was not worth his pain.

Relena made her way over to the shower. She turned on the hot water, stripping off her clothes. The room became clouded with steam. She knew Sally wouldn't permit such heat, but she had to get clean.

Heero watched the steam escape under the bathroom door, as his eyes began mechanically scanning the room. He'd been trained in psychological behavior patterns, and recognized her strange obsession to get clean, as well as the compulsions that were hurting her. It had only been a few months. Maybe she could recover her rationality in the area, soon. Either way, he would see to it that she got counseling after this trip.

He realized he'd been staring blankly at the bed. Clean sheets would do her good. He began tearing away the sweat-drenched layers, preparing her a safe place to rest for the night. When he'd completed the task, he moved to the dresser, setting out clothing for her to wear after the shower. He reached for a towel in her closet, but froze when there was a knock at the door.

"Come."

Quatre stepped in, followed by Zechs. Zechs was stiffer, more so than usual. His eyes met no one. Quatre stayed near the exit, still wary of Heero's emotions.

"How is she?" Quatre said.

"Hn," he replied, turning from the two blond men. "She's showering."

Quatre nodded, slowly and expressively, approaching the bathroom. "Lee? It's too hot in there. I can see the steam."

He received no verbal response, but smiled when he heard the water pressure adjust. She'd turned down the hot water.

Zechs looked at the mattress. "You made the bed?"

Heero just looked at him, giving no answer.

"Is she—okay?"

Heero leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes.

Zechs shook his head. "Well—I just wanted to know she's in good hands."

Heero's gaze shot back up to him. His face showed no emotion, pleasant or otherwise.

"You know where to find me if you need me," Relena's brother said before stepping out.

Quatre eyed Heero. "I don't think it's hit him, yet."

"It will," he responded.

"You okay?"

The dark haired pilot looked away, trying to disguise his feelings.

"I'm sorry."

"You did the right thing. You protected her."

"But I lied to you."

Heero was silent for a moment. "You protected her," he said, again.

Quatre accepted the finality of the statement. He put his hand on the other pilot's shoulder to show support. "Take care of her," he said before leaving the room. It wasn't a necessary statement, but Quatre always felt the need to see that he was understood by his friends.

When Relena shut off the water, Heero walked closer to the door. "I have clothes for you," he called out.

Relena cracked it only slightly to grab the bundle he was offering. "Thank you," she whispered in an embarrassed voice.

Once she was covered in the soft cotton, she stepped out. She was pleasantly surprised at the fresh linens that awaited her. "Heero."

He gave her a small, sad smile. "Lie down and get some rest," he said, turning it down.

"Quatre's been staying in your usual room, but there's another one available down the hall if you—"

"I'm not leaving you," he said.

Relena blushed. "That's fine."

"I'll sleep on the floor."

"What? No."

He looked at her, incredulously.

"You may stay in the same bed as me, if you wish. You can't sleep on the floor."

He was silent.

"Either you sleep in bed with me, or in your own room. You will not be kept on the floor, like a dog. That's final."

Heero turned and switched off the light. "I'll sleep on the floor," he said, again. He was determined.

Relena sighed, making herself comfortable in her large, empty bed.

:::

Hours later in the night, Heero was awakened by the sounds of Relena crying out, again. She was tossing and turning her body, fighting back at the shadow. Her eyes were still squeezed shut. Heero climbed into the bed, beside her, taking her into his arms. His embrace seemed to have made her feel safe. Her body stilled in his grip. He couldn't bring himself to let go.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing**

Relena's eyes opened as she sensed the morning sun trying to sneak through the blackout curtains. To her surprise, she found herself nestled safely in the embrace of a trusted soldier. She cracked a mischievous smile, thinking of their disagreement the night before. She thought it amusing that somehow, in her sleep, she had won. He slept on the bed.

She looked down over herself to see where his hands were resting. One arm was wrapped under her neck, but the other hand relaxed and fallen onto her pregnant belly. Somehow the image of his hand on her baby made her smile from deep within. Her smile faded, though, as she watched her son kick Heero's thumb. His body stiffened in surprise, while he lifted his hand away from the assault. Still half asleep, he looked down at her stomach, watching the tiniest movement on the surface as the child within accosted her for attention. She hid the baby's movement under her hand, embarrassed by his excitement, but unable to hid her prideful glow. Heero's eyes were filled with strange curiosity as he looked up at her, then back at her hand. He took a hold of it and pulled her out of the way, reaching to feel the boy's movements, again. Heero closed his eyes, learning the new sensation, studying his own feelings as he got to know Relena's child. Relena just watched Heero, wide eyed for several moments, before venturing to lower her hand, again. This time, she rested her hand on his, accepting this moment.

Heero's thoughts were inward, but he felt that she needed his secrets, now, more than ever. His voice was gentle, barely above a whisper, as he spoke to her.

"My father was an assassin," he said calmly. His dark blue eyes met hers. "My father, Oden Lowe, killed the political leader, Heero Yuy."

Relena's breath caught. Heero Yuy. The original Heero Yuy was a pacifist. He united the colonies, voicing their needs to the Earth. He was their strength. Their hope. And Oz had him assassinated. Heero, the man she loved, was just a nameless Gundam pilot, given a codename, Heero Yuy, for his final mission. Having created a life, friends, during that war, he chose to keep the name and protect Relena; the new hope for peace.

He watched his words sink in, noting the grace in her eyes, unchanging in the face of new information. He wanted to smile, seeing her forgiveness, even at this surprise. Truly, she loved him. He looked back down to her abdomen, where her son was growing. "If I've learned anything from you, it's that where you come from does not determine your destiny."

"Heero?"

"I will protect Relena Peacecraft's son."

Relena's eyes stung with tears. Her chest was suddenly so heavy under the feelings that overtook her. Heero would protect her son. Regardless of his origin. Regardless of who—of what—his father was. She smiled at him, before sobbing into his shoulder. Heero—forgave her. He forgave her son.

That night, there was no argument. Heero climbed into the bed, beside Relena, enjoying the sound of her voice as she wound down in his arms after the day. That night she slept in Heero Yuy's arms. That night there were no nightmares.

:::

Relena entered the auditorium in L3 with Heero's arm protectively around her waist. She was greeted by a wave of shocked and curious whispers.

Was Relena Darlian pregnant? Did she elope? Who was he?

She flushed at the implications, looking up into his eyes for reassurance. She found none, now. His eyes were on the people. His mind was on a mission. His job was to get her in and out of there—alive.

Relena gripped the podium, steadying herself as her bodyguard took one—and only one—step back, to give her the stage. A hush finally fell over the crowd as she began to speak.

"I've come here, today, risking my own health and welfare, to see you. My brothers and sisters. Your homes have been torn by war. Your children, orphaned. Your friends, lost and killed. Your colony has suffered the most during the wars, and recovery is hard. I know you are hurt. I know you are afraid.

"But you are not alone. On Earth, we hear your cry. You are not forgotten. Your sacrifice has not been overlooked. Your needs are not swept under a rug. I have come, myself, in person, to remind you that _I_ hear you. _I_ care for you. And _I_ will be your advocate.

"Do not allow your fear and uncertainty of tomorrow to damage the fragile peace we have all given so much to achieve. Do not allow an anxiety to damage your hope." Relena's hand hugged her own belly, feeling her son press against her.

"What we've been through, where we've come from, does not have to prophesy of our tomorrows. Within each of us, individually, and within our combined force, we have conceived a promise. A beauty born of ashes. A hope for tomorrow, born of yesterday's pain.

"I was there, my friends. I lost loved ones. I saw battle. I feel your pain. The scars may not be easily forgotten. But if we have patience, if we have faith in one another, we can create a better hope. A better future."

The crowd erupted into applause as Relena stepped back into Heero's protective embrace, which pushed her, immediately toward the ground.

Shots rang out.

He winced, slightly, tightening his grip around her waist and he yanked her hastily from the platform and out of the room. He did not look at her, again, until she was in a secured location, inside the hotel.

:::

Resting from the panicked retreat, Relena noticed him standing off, near the door, studying her. She met his gaze solidly. Blood was trickling down his right arm, which he ignored.

"I came. Like you asked."

He nodded.

"Will it matter? Will your getting wounded matter?" Doubt filled her voice.

Heero was silent for several moments, looking out the window of her room. "It mattered to me."

She looked up at him, incredulously.

He gave her a small, crooked grin. "What you do matters to me."

Relena smiled, looking at the floor. She started as his shadow loomed over her. He lowered himself before her, taking her face in his hands and brushing the stray hairs from her cheeks. He gently placed a warm kiss on her forehead.

He pulled away, suddenly, meeting her eyes and standing up, a split second before the door behind him opened.

"Your shuttle's ready, Relena," Zechs said.

Relena was blushing. She stood to her feet and allowed Heero, returning to his bodyguard posture, to take the lead. Wufei and Duo flanked her, as they made their way safely to the shuttle.

Sally was already on board, waiting to do a check up on Relena and the baby as soon as they were airborne. Once Heero had secured the shuttle, safely, he situated himself next to Relena, trying to feign indifference as he eyed each instrument Sally picked to measure, poke and prod her patient. Throughout the exam, even Sally noted, Heero enjoyed the sound of the weak heartbeat of the unborn child. He showed pleasant surprise as he made out a thumping sound that went at a rhythm, not so different from the heartbeat of a bird. Catching Sally's eye on him, Heero grunted and looked away.

The girls smiled at each other.

As soon as Relena and the baby had completed the triage, Heero's arms was cleaned and stitched up. To Relena's relief, the wound was as harmless as he made it seem. Sally still insisted he take a preventative antibiotic to avoid infection, and only left the two in peace once she'd seen the stubborn man swallow the pill.

Looking down over Earth, she rubbed her abdomen, remembering her father's voice in her mind. _Never forget how beautiful Earth looks from afar._ She sighed.

She could feel Heero's eyes on her. He wanted her to tell him what she was thinking, but she would, only after she found her conclusion.

How had she found herself here? How much did she sacrifice? How much pain had she survived? Images of battles she'd witnessed, first hand, flashed through her mind. The nightmare she'd survived alone, nearly six months ago. Lonely nights. Forgotten tears. But she had today. She had tomorrow. She had Heero. She had—the baby. Not a son of sorry.

Relena's face broke into a smile as she turned to her guardian. His eyes were searching her.

"We've come so far," she started. "You and I. We've been through so much. Most people I know have never had to face some of the hardships I faced. And I've never had to carry burdens as great as yours. But I meant what I said, earlier. The pain we've survived, the past that bore us, is not our future or our destiny." She leaned her head on his shoulder, now, looking out the window.

"There's an old Hebrew story, about a woman who's dying in childbirth. She tries to name her son 'Benoni', which means 'son of my sorrow'. Being that the child was taking her life, it only seemed like a fair name." She looked up at him. His eyes met hers, intent on her words. "But his father did not believe the boy should be named after his past. He named the boy for his potential. For his future." She gazed down at her unborn child, gently rubbing her own belly in a soothing, circular motion. "'Benjamin'. 'Son of my right hand'."

She looked up at Heero, searching for approval. He smiled over her, eyeing her abdomen softly, as he cradled her in his arms. "Benjamin," he whispered toward the still belly. "Benjamin Raberba. Since Quatre did risk his life protecting the boy from me."

She smiled, knowing he hadn't forgotten Quatre's efforts to help her. "Benjamin Raberba."

The comfortable silence of agreement passed between them.

"What's his last name?" Heero asked.

She smiled at the thought.


End file.
